At least a handful of you dicks know that I coach high school rowing. Recently, I applied for a job with a fairly prestigious team in this area. Arguably the most historic team in the country, that kind of prestige. They're not as good as they were maybe a decade ago, and certainly not as good as they were 20 or 30 years ago, but they're still pretty good. Also interviewing were two of the assistant coaches from last year. We will call the chick MK, and the dude AZ. Both had two seasons of coaching experience. MK coached the second boat last year to a national championship. Think of the second boat as the JV team. So it would be like your JV volleyball team winning the state championship for their level, if such a thing exists. AZ won the state championship with his third level boat. If there was something between the freshman and JV level, that would be it. Think, retarded JV. That is the complete resume for each of them.
I've been coaching for six years, pretty much year-round for the last three or four years. I've coached high school, I've coached junior elite, I've coached adults, I've done pretty much everything but the college level. I am at this boathouse pretty much non-stop from March through November. MK and AZ show up in March and then leave when the high school season is over at the end of May. I know my way around a budget, I know how to rig boats, I know how to repair boats, I know all of the administrative shit.....I know what I'm fucking doing, this is not my first rodeo. All three of us interview about a month ago, and they hire me. Yay me.
Almost immediately, there is a backlash from some of the girls on this team, because they all like MK, and they are all impressed with her national championship from last spring. A few girls complain, and they get their parents to complain. Meanwhile, MK has a mentor, who also thinks she should have gotten the job. (Side note, at this point AZ realizes he doesn't know shit about shit, and had no business applying for the job, and is a non-factor. He will not be mentioned anymore.) So her mentor, as far as I can tell, basically has her sit back in a corner while he goes to bat for her. He calls every parent that he knows on the team, and he calls the booster club, and he calls the principal of the school. The athletic director and the principal basically tell all of these folks to go shit in their respective hats. "We've made our decision, parents and students do not get a say in the hiring process." Eventually, someone goes to HR and comes up with a few loopholes. One of the guys who sat on the interview panel knows me. He also knows the other two applicants, but people ignore that point. There was also no female representation on the panel. Who gives a shit? And supposedly they printed out MK's work resume, not her rowing resume. I think they should have stuck with her work resume, because her rowing resume is about two sentences long. So what does HR decide to do? They retract their offer to me for the head coach position, and they are opening it up again.
So now I have quit my old coaching job. I brought in an assistant coach, who also quit her old job. I have to apply all over again for this position, and go through the interview process again. I am not too happy. So what do I do here?
-Do I tell them to fuck off and just quit? This is turning into quite a headache, and the parents are still going to be pissed after I get hired again.
-Do I push through, get hired yet again, and fire MK and her mentor? (He is a very part-time asst coach.)
-Do I push through, get hired again, and demote MK down to the third or fourth level boats? Oh, and fire her mentor? That's pretty much a given at this point.
-Do I push through, get hired again, and let everything stay as it is, so as to keep everyone happy and show that I'm not vindictive and angry?
-Other?
All the World News that's unfit for print.
