All the World News that's unfit for print.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
NL S14 Preview: East & South are a penis wrinkle
Ten games into the season, and the East has a team on pace for 162 losses, while the South has a team on pace for 145 losses. Small sample size, I know. But when I think of the East and the South, I think of this:
Baltimore is on the left. Rochester/Hartford is in the green. Jacksonville is in the leopard print. El Paso is in the pink. That's right, El Paso is the hot one. Of those four franchises, Rochester is the only one who made any substantial noise in the free agency market, with one Type A and two Type B signings. Jacksonville signed Kent Rivera about five seasons too late, but at least they did something. Despite having protected first round picks, Baltimore and El Paso both spent the offseason shitting their pants, and wondering how much money they can throw into the IFA market. It's fairly safe to assume that all four of these squads will be safely in the top 12 come draft time next year.
Who will be out of the playoff hunt by the all-star break? Well one could argue that New Britain should be in the same category as those first four fatties, so clearly the best they can hope for is this section. I actually feel bad for Cincy, Anaheim, and Iowa City, because those three deserve better than being group with the Rock Cats. But I'm sure Lucy Lui didn't like being grouped with Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz in Charlie's Angels, so not everyone can get what they want. Cincy made some noise by signing Aguilera, but every other signing from this group was Type B players, and most of them were pretty shitty. Seriously, who the fuck is William Iwazaki? These guys all tried to make a few improvements, but it won't get them anywhere.
Who is hoping to make the playoffs, but will come up short? The fighting Sandias from Albuquerque are dying a slow death already. I would post a picture of my bullpen, but some of you might be eating, and I don't want to show you what came up when I googled "festering genital wart." Your reigning world series champs from Colorado, god bless them and their $100M budget, but they can't do it two years in a row. If you google "disappointment chick" this is one of the first 25 or so that comes up, and I'm okay with that:
New Orleans played .500 ball last year, which earned them the division win, and they'll improve a bit this year too, but they'll have to settle for a wild card. Wait, a team from the South is going to finish above .500 and not win the division? Get the fuck out of here. Your other wild card will be.....shit, I dunno. Either St Louis or Durham. The two of them together have spent more on payroll than Baltimore, Rochester, El Paso and Jacksonville combined. Maybe that's why those four are in the fat girls club. I like the St Louis defense more, so let's put Durham here as the other wild card. Not a horrible place to be.
Your division winners then will be the dipshits who are left over. We've got Helena in the North, the aforementioned St Louis in the East, the doomed-to-exit-early Jackson in the South, and this year's version of Colorado, Boise from the West. St Louis and Helena will get the first round byes, while Jackson gets brutally raped by Durham, and Boise/New Orleans try to figure out why they're in the playoffs. At that point, I'll probably stop paying attention. But I'm sure everyone involved will be having fun.
Good luck assholes.
Who will be out of the playoff hunt by the all-star break? Well one could argue that New Britain should be in the same category as those first four fatties, so clearly the best they can hope for is this section. I actually feel bad for Cincy, Anaheim, and Iowa City, because those three deserve better than being group with the Rock Cats. But I'm sure Lucy Lui didn't like being grouped with Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz in Charlie's Angels, so not everyone can get what they want. Cincy made some noise by signing Aguilera, but every other signing from this group was Type B players, and most of them were pretty shitty. Seriously, who the fuck is William Iwazaki? These guys all tried to make a few improvements, but it won't get them anywhere.
Who is hoping to make the playoffs, but will come up short? The fighting Sandias from Albuquerque are dying a slow death already. I would post a picture of my bullpen, but some of you might be eating, and I don't want to show you what came up when I googled "festering genital wart." Your reigning world series champs from Colorado, god bless them and their $100M budget, but they can't do it two years in a row. If you google "disappointment chick" this is one of the first 25 or so that comes up, and I'm okay with that:
New Orleans played .500 ball last year, which earned them the division win, and they'll improve a bit this year too, but they'll have to settle for a wild card. Wait, a team from the South is going to finish above .500 and not win the division? Get the fuck out of here. Your other wild card will be.....shit, I dunno. Either St Louis or Durham. The two of them together have spent more on payroll than Baltimore, Rochester, El Paso and Jacksonville combined. Maybe that's why those four are in the fat girls club. I like the St Louis defense more, so let's put Durham here as the other wild card. Not a horrible place to be.
Your division winners then will be the dipshits who are left over. We've got Helena in the North, the aforementioned St Louis in the East, the doomed-to-exit-early Jackson in the South, and this year's version of Colorado, Boise from the West. St Louis and Helena will get the first round byes, while Jackson gets brutally raped by Durham, and Boise/New Orleans try to figure out why they're in the playoffs. At that point, I'll probably stop paying attention. But I'm sure everyone involved will be having fun.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
The Season 14 AL Preview!
Hi folks, welcome to the 14th Edition of BPF. It's been a very busy offseason with loads of deals and FA signings as teams try to shore up holes. Speaking of holes, I was with this chick last night...oh, nevermind. Things might get even tighter in the AL, though I haven't started looking at teams yet, so I could be wishing pie in the sky. Hmm, pie. That reminds of this one chick...ah, forget about it, not important. Let's welcome new comers kevmax, adreid, and m22pank, wondering what you got yourselves into, yet? So without further ado let`s get on with it. The record in brackets is last years prediction, just FYI.
AL WEST
Honolulu Harpoon
S13: 90-72 (84-78), 2ND
When your top two starters are Long and Greenberg, you should feel pretty good about your team. It`s also $45 mil tied up in two players for this season, which is larger than a few entire teams. Some pretty good fielders along with the pitching should make Honolulu one of the tougher teams to score on. The offense might see some struggles with Ontiveros and Nathan being the highlights, but will be hard to whiff by and large. Might see some NL style ball being played in the Aloha State. Once again, the harpoon will be in contention to spear a wildcard spot, but then again this is the first team that I`ve looked at (I don`t do any advance comparisions, I just go with it). 6 straight second place finishes, 5 straight 90+ win seasons, that`s consistent management.
Defense: B
Offense: C+
Pitching: C+
Prediction: 88-74
Salt Lake City Warriors
78-84 (52-110), 3rd
Well, there`s some egg on my face which often happens when I flip omelettes and a little still liquid egg splashes up, sullying my ruddy complexion, but I digress. Wow, the team I previewed wound up being a different team by seasons end. The defense, specifically range, is eye-popping. In fact this is a fast team overall, with a bit off pop in the line-up, but will be around middle of the pack in terms of average. Still short on pitching, but what`s there isn`t top of the heap. Lots of payroll room left to sign a FA or two but there are no all stars still available.
Defense: B+
Offense:C
Pitching: C
Prediction: 70-92
Scottsdale Storm
97-65 (81-81), 1st
Another team that well over shot my prediction. Won`t make that mistake again. This a talent laden club, loaded with stars. The line-up will destroy southpaws and give righties explosive diarrhea with an enviable combination of speed and power. The defense ain`t much to write about so I won`t. Fuck, just ate toast and now my keyboard is covered in butter and jam. Oh well. Excellent rotation anchored by McMillon who I miss tremendously.
Defense: C+
Offense: A-
Pitching: B+
Prediction: 100-62
Vancouver Coastals
64-98 (88-74), 4th
Didn`t think my team was going to be so awful, but Laroche forgot how to hit, and the trades may have had a detrimental effect on player morale, except this all bullshit, and in reality, I just over valued my team. Amazingly, Laroche is back, though I saved about 10 mil by decling the option and then re-signing on the cheap. In some worlds this could still be .500 team, but in BPF, this team might get crushed. Some FA signings to stem the tide, but the season will be long and arduous.
Defense: B
Offense: C+
Pitching: C+
Prediction: 72-90
AL SOUTH
Houston Colt 45s
79-83 (90-72), 2ND
Wow, has this team gone on Extreme Makeover, HBD Edition. Stacked line-up, great gloves, good rotation, excellent bullpen. Fully expect the recently, and costly to acquire, Perez to rebound after hitting 30-40 pts below his ratings last season. the addition of Alejandro Lee should make the opposition pitchers poop a little at the prospect of facing this squad. A pretty dynamite team altogether, good work joe.
Defense: B+
Offense: A
Pitching: A-
Prediction: 100-62
Florida Fire
75-87 (96-66), 3rd
Collins and Torres sucked last year, flat out. Seems this world sees a lot of crappy seasons from stud players. May not be the case, but sure seems that way. Then again, this world is pitching heavy. Still, seems ratings for hitters in this world are less than firm and more an average in a range. Wilkerson had a monster season, but ol Flash Bass was just above sucking as well. Pitching is an area of concern with no real star. The offense will be this team`s donkey, for sure.
Defense: B
Offense: A-
Pitching:C+
Prediction: 82-80
Richmond Informers
91-71 (84-78)/ 1st
Greenberg is gone, and so is any chance at the division title. Even with Chuck sent packing, pitching is still this team's strength, which is kind of a testament to the mediocrity of the offense. When Tavarez is your star player, a hard road lies ahead. Searching "Richmond+girls" didn't yield much of any worth, so I then went with "Virginia+girls" and did much better. I'm assuming it's Richmond, Virginia. I could do the research I s'pose, but as my Dad always used to say "fuck you".
Defense: B
Offense: C
Pitching: C+
Prediction: 65-97
Memphis Dead Elvi
65-97 (62-100)/4th
The Mishap on the Mississippi continues, as sergei looks to clean house, fully and completely. I'm noticing how many teams have very strong defenses in the AL, never seen anything like it before. The offense on this team seems to be caught in atrap, it can't walk out. They can't seem to stand on their own two feet, the fans will be down on the end of lonely street, at Heartbreak Hotel. And sho nuff, the pitching ain't caught a rabbit, and it ain't no friend of mine. Or sergei's. Actually you could describe the pitching as opposition friendly.
Defense: B-
Offense: C-
Pitching: C
Prediction: 62-100
AL NORTH
Fargo Fainting Goats
71-91 (72-90), 3rd
Hmm, according to Deivi Johnson's history expect a shitty year from him. I'm starting to believe players are built with patterns. Some players always (always!) alternate productive and crappy seasons. Maybe I'll be proven wrong, but somehow doubt it. A line-up boasting contact and speed with just enough power. The pitching, however, ain't boot-shaking, and will be a challenge for the offense to carry.
Defense: B-
Offense: B+
Pitching: C
Prediction: 70-92
Montreal Maroons
100-62 (96-66), 1st
At 30 mil + Montreal has one of it's highest payroll's yet. This player revolving door franchise has probably had almost every player play for it at some point in their pre-arbitration eligible careers or so it seems. Still, winning consistently while keeping the payroll down is purty darn impressive. This is a very, very good team with balance across the board. Like my old Vancouver team, tends to crumble come playoff time, but so far looks to be the class of the AL. Really improved defensively and the pitching is puke inducing.
Defense: A-
Offense: A
Pitching: A
Prediction: 110-52
Milwaukee Ueckers
93-69 (100-62), 2nd
It's funny to have the two biggest prospect extractor's in the same division. Seriously, it seems like every good prospect winds up in either Milwaukee or Montreal, sometimes both. I consider the Ueck/Maroon rivalry BPF's best. The Maroons have held the advantage the past couple seasons and it looks like the gap has widened. While still a very good team, the pitching seems to have fallen back slightly, and losing Perez doesn't help the offense, though he stunk the joint out in the regular season. Like almost every team in the AL the defense is very good to excellent.
Defense: A+
Offense: B-
Pitching: B+
Prediction: 94-68
Portland Stoudemire's
69-93 (84-78), 4th
Is it Portland Maine or Portland Oregon? And why do two states have prominent Portlands, Salems, and maybe others. Fuck, did they the coasts were mirror images? I dunno. Let's say it's Portland, Maineregon. I grossly over estimated this squad last season. Still kind of shocked by the poor performance, the team isn't that bad. Being a domi team, the defense ain't much, especially considering most of the AL is stacked in that department. hitting will be team's strength, but pitching is worrisome. So far the AL is made up of haves and have-nots, and this team will be in not category, once again. Maybe the Stoudemires (he played in Oregon didn't he (Amare or Damon), I dunno) will overachieve. Maybe.
Defense: C+
Offense: B-
Pitching: C
Prediction: 72-90
AL EAST
Chicago Black Holes
102-60(100-62)/1st
What's with all this "Chicagoland" crap I'm hearing all the time now? What, good ol' fashioned Chicago needed just one more syllable. Wherever that came from it can go back to. Looks like last year's AL champ will be hard pressed to repeat that title. Maybe it's just other teams have improved so much, but The Holes don't look as impressive this season. Don't get me wrong, still a tough squad, but I don't see the swagger.
Defense: C+
Offense: B+
Pitching: B+
Prediction: 95-67
New York Yankees
63-99 (n/a)/4th
For the first time in a few seasons, there's actually a full roster to evaluate! Huzzah! Team sucks! Boo! So far we're 0-2 in terms of AL East defense skills. Poor Geronimo Cruz, who, despite great stats and awards, is hard to deal, probably, because he's only 73 overall. As the current owner of Cruz you probably feel he is worth more than you've been offered. Probably true. While at least this season, there's enough pitching, it ain't good. At all. Same for offense. Should finish last in the AL.
defense: C
Offense: C
Pitching: C
Prediction: 59-103
Wichita Prairie Dogs
81-81(84-78)/2nd
The only AL team with a new owner this season. I wondered how long HAWKEYE was going to stick it out. Despite my dropping hints every preview, the guy loaded up on pretty high overall players, that were only rated highly because of health and stamina. The skill ratings were never impressive, so this team was the posterchild of mediocrity season after season. Seems to be what kevmax is facing here. Not great anywhere, not terrible anywhere, once some contracts are no longer on the books, there will be room to improve. BTW, what the fuck is Wichita doing in the East? Kansas is on the wrong side of the Missouri to be even close to the East. That's some bullshit there.
Defense: C+
Offense: C+
Pitching: C+
Prediction: 80-82
Syracuse Street Walkers
96-66 (70-92)/2ndNot even going to bother. The pattern has been up and down, but I keep missing the cycle. I could go with the pattern, but I just can't get a read of this franchise apparently.
Defense: C+
Offense: C+
Pitching: C+
Prediction: Ok, ok...ummmm...let's see...70-92, again.
Well that's all for now. When I get my advance up next season I'll get back into prospect reports. Hopefully NJ will do the NL preview. His have a more foulmouthed crankiness to them. Hopefully you like your team photos. Good luck all.
AL WEST
Honolulu Harpoon
S13: 90-72 (84-78), 2ND
When your top two starters are Long and Greenberg, you should feel pretty good about your team. It`s also $45 mil tied up in two players for this season, which is larger than a few entire teams. Some pretty good fielders along with the pitching should make Honolulu one of the tougher teams to score on. The offense might see some struggles with Ontiveros and Nathan being the highlights, but will be hard to whiff by and large. Might see some NL style ball being played in the Aloha State. Once again, the harpoon will be in contention to spear a wildcard spot, but then again this is the first team that I`ve looked at (I don`t do any advance comparisions, I just go with it). 6 straight second place finishes, 5 straight 90+ win seasons, that`s consistent management.
Defense: B
Offense: C+
Pitching: C+
Prediction: 88-74
Salt Lake City Warriors
78-84 (52-110), 3rd
Well, there`s some egg on my face which often happens when I flip omelettes and a little still liquid egg splashes up, sullying my ruddy complexion, but I digress. Wow, the team I previewed wound up being a different team by seasons end. The defense, specifically range, is eye-popping. In fact this is a fast team overall, with a bit off pop in the line-up, but will be around middle of the pack in terms of average. Still short on pitching, but what`s there isn`t top of the heap. Lots of payroll room left to sign a FA or two but there are no all stars still available.
Defense: B+
Offense:C
Pitching: C
Prediction: 70-92
Scottsdale Storm
97-65 (81-81), 1st
Another team that well over shot my prediction. Won`t make that mistake again. This a talent laden club, loaded with stars. The line-up will destroy southpaws and give righties explosive diarrhea with an enviable combination of speed and power. The defense ain`t much to write about so I won`t. Fuck, just ate toast and now my keyboard is covered in butter and jam. Oh well. Excellent rotation anchored by McMillon who I miss tremendously.
Defense: C+
Offense: A-
Pitching: B+
Prediction: 100-62
Vancouver Coastals
64-98 (88-74), 4th
Didn`t think my team was going to be so awful, but Laroche forgot how to hit, and the trades may have had a detrimental effect on player morale, except this all bullshit, and in reality, I just over valued my team. Amazingly, Laroche is back, though I saved about 10 mil by decling the option and then re-signing on the cheap. In some worlds this could still be .500 team, but in BPF, this team might get crushed. Some FA signings to stem the tide, but the season will be long and arduous.
Defense: B
Offense: C+
Pitching: C+
Prediction: 72-90
AL SOUTH
Houston Colt 45s
79-83 (90-72), 2ND
Wow, has this team gone on Extreme Makeover, HBD Edition. Stacked line-up, great gloves, good rotation, excellent bullpen. Fully expect the recently, and costly to acquire, Perez to rebound after hitting 30-40 pts below his ratings last season. the addition of Alejandro Lee should make the opposition pitchers poop a little at the prospect of facing this squad. A pretty dynamite team altogether, good work joe.
Defense: B+
Offense: A
Pitching: A-
Prediction: 100-62
Florida Fire
75-87 (96-66), 3rd
Collins and Torres sucked last year, flat out. Seems this world sees a lot of crappy seasons from stud players. May not be the case, but sure seems that way. Then again, this world is pitching heavy. Still, seems ratings for hitters in this world are less than firm and more an average in a range. Wilkerson had a monster season, but ol Flash Bass was just above sucking as well. Pitching is an area of concern with no real star. The offense will be this team`s donkey, for sure.
Defense: B
Offense: A-
Pitching:C+
Prediction: 82-80
Richmond Informers
91-71 (84-78)/ 1st
Greenberg is gone, and so is any chance at the division title. Even with Chuck sent packing, pitching is still this team's strength, which is kind of a testament to the mediocrity of the offense. When Tavarez is your star player, a hard road lies ahead. Searching "Richmond+girls" didn't yield much of any worth, so I then went with "Virginia+girls" and did much better. I'm assuming it's Richmond, Virginia. I could do the research I s'pose, but as my Dad always used to say "fuck you".
Defense: B
Offense: C
Pitching: C+
Prediction: 65-97
Memphis Dead Elvi
65-97 (62-100)/4th
The Mishap on the Mississippi continues, as sergei looks to clean house, fully and completely. I'm noticing how many teams have very strong defenses in the AL, never seen anything like it before. The offense on this team seems to be caught in atrap, it can't walk out. They can't seem to stand on their own two feet, the fans will be down on the end of lonely street, at Heartbreak Hotel. And sho nuff, the pitching ain't caught a rabbit, and it ain't no friend of mine. Or sergei's. Actually you could describe the pitching as opposition friendly.
Defense: B-
Offense: C-
Pitching: C
Prediction: 62-100
AL NORTH
Fargo Fainting Goats
71-91 (72-90), 3rd
Hmm, according to Deivi Johnson's history expect a shitty year from him. I'm starting to believe players are built with patterns. Some players always (always!) alternate productive and crappy seasons. Maybe I'll be proven wrong, but somehow doubt it. A line-up boasting contact and speed with just enough power. The pitching, however, ain't boot-shaking, and will be a challenge for the offense to carry.
Defense: B-
Offense: B+
Pitching: C
Prediction: 70-92
Montreal Maroons
100-62 (96-66), 1st
At 30 mil + Montreal has one of it's highest payroll's yet. This player revolving door franchise has probably had almost every player play for it at some point in their pre-arbitration eligible careers or so it seems. Still, winning consistently while keeping the payroll down is purty darn impressive. This is a very, very good team with balance across the board. Like my old Vancouver team, tends to crumble come playoff time, but so far looks to be the class of the AL. Really improved defensively and the pitching is puke inducing.
Defense: A-
Offense: A
Pitching: A
Prediction: 110-52
Milwaukee Ueckers
93-69 (100-62), 2nd
It's funny to have the two biggest prospect extractor's in the same division. Seriously, it seems like every good prospect winds up in either Milwaukee or Montreal, sometimes both. I consider the Ueck/Maroon rivalry BPF's best. The Maroons have held the advantage the past couple seasons and it looks like the gap has widened. While still a very good team, the pitching seems to have fallen back slightly, and losing Perez doesn't help the offense, though he stunk the joint out in the regular season. Like almost every team in the AL the defense is very good to excellent.
Defense: A+
Offense: B-
Pitching: B+
Prediction: 94-68
Portland Stoudemire's
69-93 (84-78), 4th
Is it Portland Maine or Portland Oregon? And why do two states have prominent Portlands, Salems, and maybe others. Fuck, did they the coasts were mirror images? I dunno. Let's say it's Portland, Maineregon. I grossly over estimated this squad last season. Still kind of shocked by the poor performance, the team isn't that bad. Being a domi team, the defense ain't much, especially considering most of the AL is stacked in that department. hitting will be team's strength, but pitching is worrisome. So far the AL is made up of haves and have-nots, and this team will be in not category, once again. Maybe the Stoudemires (he played in Oregon didn't he (Amare or Damon), I dunno) will overachieve. Maybe.
Defense: C+
Offense: B-
Pitching: C
Prediction: 72-90
AL EAST
Chicago Black Holes
102-60(100-62)/1st
What's with all this "Chicagoland" crap I'm hearing all the time now? What, good ol' fashioned Chicago needed just one more syllable. Wherever that came from it can go back to. Looks like last year's AL champ will be hard pressed to repeat that title. Maybe it's just other teams have improved so much, but The Holes don't look as impressive this season. Don't get me wrong, still a tough squad, but I don't see the swagger.
Defense: C+
Offense: B+
Pitching: B+
Prediction: 95-67
New York Yankees
63-99 (n/a)/4th
For the first time in a few seasons, there's actually a full roster to evaluate! Huzzah! Team sucks! Boo! So far we're 0-2 in terms of AL East defense skills. Poor Geronimo Cruz, who, despite great stats and awards, is hard to deal, probably, because he's only 73 overall. As the current owner of Cruz you probably feel he is worth more than you've been offered. Probably true. While at least this season, there's enough pitching, it ain't good. At all. Same for offense. Should finish last in the AL.
defense: C
Offense: C
Pitching: C
Prediction: 59-103
Wichita Prairie Dogs
81-81(84-78)/2nd
The only AL team with a new owner this season. I wondered how long HAWKEYE was going to stick it out. Despite my dropping hints every preview, the guy loaded up on pretty high overall players, that were only rated highly because of health and stamina. The skill ratings were never impressive, so this team was the posterchild of mediocrity season after season. Seems to be what kevmax is facing here. Not great anywhere, not terrible anywhere, once some contracts are no longer on the books, there will be room to improve. BTW, what the fuck is Wichita doing in the East? Kansas is on the wrong side of the Missouri to be even close to the East. That's some bullshit there.
Defense: C+
Offense: C+
Pitching: C+
Prediction: 80-82
Syracuse Street Walkers
96-66 (70-92)/2ndNot even going to bother. The pattern has been up and down, but I keep missing the cycle. I could go with the pattern, but I just can't get a read of this franchise apparently.
Defense: C+
Offense: C+
Pitching: C+
Prediction: Ok, ok...ummmm...let's see...70-92, again.
Well that's all for now. When I get my advance up next season I'll get back into prospect reports. Hopefully NJ will do the NL preview. His have a more foulmouthed crankiness to them. Hopefully you like your team photos. Good luck all.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
NL recap
So I spent the weekend at Bethany Beach with the lovely Mrs NJ78, and I am sunburned from head to toe, and quite angry at the world. More accurately, angry at the sun. But.....I did get to spend some real quality time staring at many young ladies. I have to say "young ladies," because I'm sure the vast majority of the tits I was staring at belong to 17yo girls. But Jesus H Christ, they were everywhere. And it's very cliche, but you really can't tell their age anymore. There were six or seven smoking hot chicks sitting a few yards from us, and I spent the better part of a half hour giving them names and guessing bra sizes, etc., while pretending to read. They all got up and were putting on shorts and t-shirts.....every t-shirt had a high school's name on it. As they walked by, I heard one say something about going to court next week to get her license. I am a horrible person. But there were about 500 of this chick walking around all weekend.
I really don't want to go back and look at my predictions from a few months ago. Partly because I'm sure I was wrong in a number of areas, and partly because I'm still googling "teen bikini." So up in the NL North, Helena easily ran away with the division. OK, fine, twist my arm, I'll look up my predictions. Hey, look at that, I picked Helena to win the division. I'm a fucking genius. I gave Philly a bit too much credit, but otherwise I picked this division pretty well.
In the NL East, Durham and St Louis beat the ever loving shit out of Baltimore and Hartford. Durham was 22-8 in the division, St Louis was 19-11, while Baltimore (9-21!!) and Hartford (10-20!!) were a disaster. Other than Baltimore playing a bit better than I predicted, this division went as predicted. I'm smart. The fact that Durham and St Louis didn't make it far in the playoffs should make everyone else feel a little better.
The NL South really shows that I don't know shit about shit when it comes to this game. I said Jackson would win 101 games. They won 74. I said El Paso would win 81 games. They won 68. I said Jacksonville would win only 65 games. They upped that to 74. Hey, I got New Orleans right! Whatever. That whole division sucks. They all have sub-.500 records against me, so I'm allowed to say that.
Yet again, the NL West proves to be one of the best divisions in any world at any time in the history of HBD. I predicted Salem to finish 4th in the division with an 80-82 record, and.....they did. Granted, tom missed some time with personal issues, so it's not crazy to think they might have finished above .500 and in 3rd place. I predicted a 2nd place finish for my boys, with 90 wins, and I was just two wins away as they got 88. I predicted a 7 win difference between 1st and 3rd place, with Boise in first and Colorado in 3rd. It ended up being a 6 win difference, with Colorado in 1st and Boise in 3rd. Pretty damn close. And then 89 win Colorado went on to sweep Albuquerque in the first round, take 3 of 4 from Helena in the next round, then a weird 7 game NLCS against St Louis, followed by a 7 game World Series Championship. Colorado, the number three seed, whose first playoff appearance was last season, stormed through the playoffs, going 14-7, with only 2 of those wins being 1-run games. It wasn't pretty, but they got there.
It should be noted that the NL West has won the World Series in seasons 9, 11, and 13, all by different franchises. I'm going on record now to say that the Boise franchise will win it all in Season 15.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Season 13 Recap-NSFW, though only mildly considering the source.
A hearty congrats and a well deserved WTF go out to bbwinksdaddy and his Colorado Swinger's squad for an improbable playoff run, culminating in a thrilling seven game series against AL powerhouse Chicago. The team that was named in honour of sagacious(respect)' old squad must have been getting some help from the other side, as a team of what is essentially spare parts gelled at the right time. Both owners were BPF World Series virgins, so we have our fifth different series champ in as many years.
The season started most notably with a huge sell off in Vancouver. In, perhaps, a rash move I (having suffered playoff humiliation after playoff humiliation, season after season, world after world) unloaded almost every star for prospects. Can't help think that maybe this was the year, but, of course, we know it wasn't. It's never, ever going to be the year for me. Ever.
The season got off to a very surprising start. In the AL North the soon to be departed domi's Portland franchise shot out of the gate to much crowing from said soon-to-be-gone owner, but eventually reality set in, and the Stoudemires collapsed into fourth. A spot which gmurphy's Fargo Fainting Goats would have owned had they not benefitted greatly in a trade with me. As it is the Goats finished third, not baaaaad (ya, fuck you too). Wait a minute...it's sheep that go baaaaah, what the fuck sound do goats make? Maybe they both go baaaah, what do I know, I'm not a farmer. Anyhoo, favourite target of mine, mira's Montreal Maroons was in the pedestrian category for a good chunk of nthe season, until really turning it on in the latter half, eventually taking first from foolsgold's Milwaukee franchise, who, in my more than excellent opinion, vastly underachieved, especially Bud perez, who, despite many attmepts, fg couldn't get some to give up everything for. Maybe combine roofies with GBH next time. Montreal and Milwaukee wound up meeting in the second round with the Uecks triumphing on superior pitching and the aforementioned Bud Perez.
Over yonder, in the AL East, things also started kind of topsy turvy but quickly worked themselves out and everything fell into place. Chicago's Black Holes pulled way from the surprising Wildcard Syracuse Streetwalkers, who managed to whore their way to second place finish, despite my otherwise completely accurate prediction. Trenton did what Trenton does, and former WS Gods New York Yankeescontinues it's fall from grace but at least started the season with the requisite amount of pitchers, bless devon's heart.
Down in the AL South, jcarver's Richmond Informers regained divisional first, the fifth title in six seasons (damn you season 13 joe!), from the Houston Colt 45s. Wasn't really close. One of the season's biggest stunners was the losing record posted by ghutton's Florida Fire. That team looks like a beast on paper so 75-87 is just stupid, it makes no sense. I've seen some under and over performances (looking at you Colorado) but nothing that ridiculous. Hi sergei, hope we're both happy with our first draft picks next season. Ugh.
Out in the AL West, an era came to a screaching, halting, crashing, banging stop. And you know what? In the end my team wound up where they did when they won 110 games all the time, not World Series champs. Not much less in credits either. Vancouver will rise again, like the Phoenix, but still in Vancouver not Phoenix, and pluck out the metaphorical eyes of the other teams, kaw-kaw-kaw. Anyways, Scottsdale threatened 100 wins with the aid of jettisoned super combo Alex Avila and Curtis McMillon and claimed divisional first place for the fourth time, and the first time since Season 3. Honolulu just missed out on the last wildcard spot, greatly exceeded my expectations and deserves an urban, inner city child type shout out to shiish, who must be either sick of or enjoying second place. kemosabe's Salt Lake City Warriors project continues to advance.
Over in the NL some teams won more than they lost and vice versa, but whatever it's the NL. Pitchers hit in the NL. I'd rather see people picked randomly from the crowd to hit for the pitcher, than the actual pitcher. Maybe I'll do one tomorrow but I'm about to...well, if know me by now, you know what's coming over to my place. Maybe nj will find the time, I love his obscenity laden rants.
Overall, a really interesting season. Also, no drama, no rules violations, pretty good balance in records. Thanks all, keep up the good work, and re-up.
The season started most notably with a huge sell off in Vancouver. In, perhaps, a rash move I (having suffered playoff humiliation after playoff humiliation, season after season, world after world) unloaded almost every star for prospects. Can't help think that maybe this was the year, but, of course, we know it wasn't. It's never, ever going to be the year for me. Ever.
The season got off to a very surprising start. In the AL North the soon to be departed domi's Portland franchise shot out of the gate to much crowing from said soon-to-be-gone owner, but eventually reality set in, and the Stoudemires collapsed into fourth. A spot which gmurphy's Fargo Fainting Goats would have owned had they not benefitted greatly in a trade with me. As it is the Goats finished third, not baaaaad (ya, fuck you too). Wait a minute...it's sheep that go baaaaah, what the fuck sound do goats make? Maybe they both go baaaah, what do I know, I'm not a farmer. Anyhoo, favourite target of mine, mira's Montreal Maroons was in the pedestrian category for a good chunk of nthe season, until really turning it on in the latter half, eventually taking first from foolsgold's Milwaukee franchise, who, in my more than excellent opinion, vastly underachieved, especially Bud perez, who, despite many attmepts, fg couldn't get some to give up everything for. Maybe combine roofies with GBH next time. Montreal and Milwaukee wound up meeting in the second round with the Uecks triumphing on superior pitching and the aforementioned Bud Perez.
Over yonder, in the AL East, things also started kind of topsy turvy but quickly worked themselves out and everything fell into place. Chicago's Black Holes pulled way from the surprising Wildcard Syracuse Streetwalkers, who managed to whore their way to second place finish, despite my otherwise completely accurate prediction. Trenton did what Trenton does, and former WS Gods New York Yankeescontinues it's fall from grace but at least started the season with the requisite amount of pitchers, bless devon's heart.
Down in the AL South, jcarver's Richmond Informers regained divisional first, the fifth title in six seasons (damn you season 13 joe!), from the Houston Colt 45s. Wasn't really close. One of the season's biggest stunners was the losing record posted by ghutton's Florida Fire. That team looks like a beast on paper so 75-87 is just stupid, it makes no sense. I've seen some under and over performances (looking at you Colorado) but nothing that ridiculous. Hi sergei, hope we're both happy with our first draft picks next season. Ugh.
Out in the AL West, an era came to a screaching, halting, crashing, banging stop. And you know what? In the end my team wound up where they did when they won 110 games all the time, not World Series champs. Not much less in credits either. Vancouver will rise again, like the Phoenix, but still in Vancouver not Phoenix, and pluck out the metaphorical eyes of the other teams, kaw-kaw-kaw. Anyways, Scottsdale threatened 100 wins with the aid of jettisoned super combo Alex Avila and Curtis McMillon and claimed divisional first place for the fourth time, and the first time since Season 3. Honolulu just missed out on the last wildcard spot, greatly exceeded my expectations and deserves an urban, inner city child type shout out to shiish, who must be either sick of or enjoying second place. kemosabe's Salt Lake City Warriors project continues to advance.
Over in the NL some teams won more than they lost and vice versa, but whatever it's the NL. Pitchers hit in the NL. I'd rather see people picked randomly from the crowd to hit for the pitcher, than the actual pitcher. Maybe I'll do one tomorrow but I'm about to...well, if know me by now, you know what's coming over to my place. Maybe nj will find the time, I love his obscenity laden rants.
Overall, a really interesting season. Also, no drama, no rules violations, pretty good balance in records. Thanks all, keep up the good work, and re-up.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
For Rosie: The Ballad of Roosevelt Brower
For the Club of the 500 dingers is actually quite small
Washington, Cairo, now Brower, and that is all.
For Rosie, the road was long and incredibly hard
Get your mind out of the gutter, I'm a poet and a bard
For ol Rosie debuted a season 1 hero
An original San Diegan, a real Terero
For Rosie, the man of big swings, the homers came fast
Except for the last couple seasons, harder to haul ass.
Alone, unsigned, adrift, but still with hope
Along came Memphis with an offer most dope
For Rosie, so close to glory, did he get
The chance to smack a few more, a milestone met
For Rosie achieved the level so rarely attained
And, for that, a release has been gained
Like the proverbial bird on a wire of waivers
This is what happens when you do people favours.
Fin
Washington, Cairo, now Brower, and that is all.
For Rosie, the road was long and incredibly hard
Get your mind out of the gutter, I'm a poet and a bard
For ol Rosie debuted a season 1 hero
An original San Diegan, a real Terero
For Rosie, the man of big swings, the homers came fast
Except for the last couple seasons, harder to haul ass.
Alone, unsigned, adrift, but still with hope
Along came Memphis with an offer most dope
For Rosie, so close to glory, did he get
The chance to smack a few more, a milestone met
For Rosie achieved the level so rarely attained
And, for that, a release has been gained
Like the proverbial bird on a wire of waivers
This is what happens when you do people favours.
Fin
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
AL Worst, the Impotent Empire Throws in the Towel.
Honolulu Harpoon
94-68/2nd
For most of last season the Harpoon wildly exceeded my expectations. Now the team has added uber pitcher Jumbo Long. Still doesn't look like a world beating squad, but that's what I thought last season. Aside from Long there`s a roster with some solid parts but no world beaters. With the demise of Vancouver, and the rise of Scottsdale, I`ll put Honolulu back in second in the division, and possible wild card contention, and it could be a tight fight for those two spots.
Defense: C+ (very good SS`s, not much else)
Offense: C+ (barely)
Pitching: C+ (Long and Elder)
Prediction: 84-78
Salt Lake City Warriors
54-108/ 4th
The only AL team that might be in peril with the newly established 40/60 rule. Prospect acquisition is still managements focus. There's fuck all to write about really. Guess the team's rangy but that just means they'll get to a lot of balls only to drop them. Pitching isn't miserable, but there won't be much to smile about, i don't even thing you buy beer in the stands, can you? Surprisingly I got matches to "Salt Lake City+strippers". But still, all the seer stones in the world don't see many wins for this team.
Defense: C+
Offense:C-
Pitching: C
Prediction: 52-110
Scottsdale Storm
62-100/ 3rd
The most improved team in the AL, should see an impressive turnaround in record. Acquiring two major award candidates in Ayala and McMillon give this team instant credibility. Be interesting to see how those perform away from my curse. A little short on depth but some very nice top end pieces. In fact the top talent (Aside from Long) in the AL West is almost exclusively in Arizona. With Vancouver's team bail the AL West might be totally up for grabs, with only SLC not having a hope in hell.
Hope no one the team needs a transplant.
Defense: C+
Offense: B-
Pitching: B- (Both the line up and pitching are top heavy, pulling up the rating)
Prediction: 81-81
Vancouver Coastals
107-55/ 1st
A run off six straight 100 plus win seasons will come crashing to screeching halt this season. In those six seasons this franchise went 13-23 in the playoffs. Enough was fucking enough. So gone are regular season heroes/congenital playoff failures McMillon, Ayala, Alcantara, Campos, Johnson, and N. Clement. And still Vancouver might have the best team in the west. I definitely hoped for better bargain FAs, but at least the Yankees now have a full roster. There is now hope for the future in the sytem and management is getting into the cut-throat biz of prospect acquisition for the next couple seasons. Oh and thanks for the mutual option on Laroche next season devon, appreciated.
Defense: A-
Offense: B-
Pitching: B-
Prediction: 88-74
Well, that's it. I'm really confident that all my forecasts are 100% spot on. Looking forward to a competitive season. Good luck boys!
94-68/2nd
For most of last season the Harpoon wildly exceeded my expectations. Now the team has added uber pitcher Jumbo Long. Still doesn't look like a world beating squad, but that's what I thought last season. Aside from Long there`s a roster with some solid parts but no world beaters. With the demise of Vancouver, and the rise of Scottsdale, I`ll put Honolulu back in second in the division, and possible wild card contention, and it could be a tight fight for those two spots.
Defense: C+ (very good SS`s, not much else)
Offense: C+ (barely)
Pitching: C+ (Long and Elder)
Prediction: 84-78
Salt Lake City Warriors
54-108/ 4th
The only AL team that might be in peril with the newly established 40/60 rule. Prospect acquisition is still managements focus. There's fuck all to write about really. Guess the team's rangy but that just means they'll get to a lot of balls only to drop them. Pitching isn't miserable, but there won't be much to smile about, i don't even thing you buy beer in the stands, can you? Surprisingly I got matches to "Salt Lake City+strippers". But still, all the seer stones in the world don't see many wins for this team.
Defense: C+
Offense:C-
Pitching: C
Prediction: 52-110
Scottsdale Storm
62-100/ 3rd
The most improved team in the AL, should see an impressive turnaround in record. Acquiring two major award candidates in Ayala and McMillon give this team instant credibility. Be interesting to see how those perform away from my curse. A little short on depth but some very nice top end pieces. In fact the top talent (Aside from Long) in the AL West is almost exclusively in Arizona. With Vancouver's team bail the AL West might be totally up for grabs, with only SLC not having a hope in hell.
Hope no one the team needs a transplant.
Defense: C+
Offense: B-
Pitching: B- (Both the line up and pitching are top heavy, pulling up the rating)
Prediction: 81-81
Vancouver Coastals
107-55/ 1st
A run off six straight 100 plus win seasons will come crashing to screeching halt this season. In those six seasons this franchise went 13-23 in the playoffs. Enough was fucking enough. So gone are regular season heroes/congenital playoff failures McMillon, Ayala, Alcantara, Campos, Johnson, and N. Clement. And still Vancouver might have the best team in the west. I definitely hoped for better bargain FAs, but at least the Yankees now have a full roster. There is now hope for the future in the sytem and management is getting into the cut-throat biz of prospect acquisition for the next couple seasons. Oh and thanks for the mutual option on Laroche next season devon, appreciated.
Defense: A-
Offense: B-
Pitching: B-
Prediction: 88-74
Well, that's it. I'm really confident that all my forecasts are 100% spot on. Looking forward to a competitive season. Good luck boys!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)