AL: The Dirty South

Austin Argonauts
Last season: 73-89/ predicted: 81-81
The Lone Ranger: Tonto, do you see what I see?
Tonto: Yes kemosabe, I see much trouble with Austin. many players marginal ML quality, me no like-um the looks of this.
The Lone Ranger: Fuckin' A, Chief! Looks like someone is playing for the number one pick next season, hopefully they won't embarrass the world, let alone themselves. many decent FAs still on the market and a 12.7mil payroll means there is cash.
Me: I have fucked chicks waaay uglier than this squad.
Offense: D
Pitching: D
Defense: C-
MVP: n/a
Cy Young: n/a
Forecast: 55-107 (optimistic)

Memphis MAD DOGS
last season: 82-80/ predicted: 91-71
Three seasons have passed since the heady back-to-back World Series days and sved appears to be in reload mode. When your DH is your most valuable player you know you are in for a long campaign. Gloves where it's needed, and some top end bats will steal some games but the pitching isn't deep. This version of the MAD DOGS are decidely neutered.
Offense: C
Pitching: C-
Defense: B
MVP: Tori Wagner
Cy Young: Yeah...about that
Pitching appears to have fallen off from the heady WS days. Still a threat, but more in the wild card mix.
Forecast: 70-92



Richmond Informers
Last season: 78-84/ predicted: 68-94
We are seeing a changing of the guard in the Dirty South. Former powerhouses Memphis and Austin have fallen on leaner times. Richmond, on the other hand, is set to make a run at the division title after finishing out of the division basement last season, the first time in franchise history. Though, to be honest, the division is there for the taking.
Offense: C
Pitching: C+
Defense: B
MVP: Hunter Bryant
Cy Young: Lou Piper
Forecast: 80-82

Kansas City Faggots
Last season: 84-78/ predicted: 94-68
I have always found it weird that homosexuals are attracted to people of the same sex that display and/or possess traits of the opposite sex they are supposedly repulsed by. Like, why are so many dykes masculine? To me, a true gay man would be the most manly dude around but likes to suck dick and take it up the shitter. These mincing queens are just confusing me. And what about guys atrracted to men in drag, that's just fucked up. And did you know a large portion of gay men don't do the butt stuff. I knew this one guy who would always say "I may be gay, but my ass is straight". I have no problem where two (or more) consenting adults stick their naughty bits, doesn't threaten me in any way (I loves my pussy), just confused by the whole thing. It's all about the junk folks! BTW .500 will win this division.
Offense: C
Pitching: B-
Defense: C-
MVP: Nick Oliver
Cy Young: Paul Harris
Forecast: 79-83