*Breaking News*

April 16th, 2015
Halifax, Nova Scotia

Today, Ballpark Franks Beloved Commish, Most Gracious and Wise, held a press conference to announce the institution of a Minimum Win Rule. To a room packed full of reporters, the devilishly handsome, camden68 announced that beginning next season the one season minimum win threshhold is 55 wins, with a multi season, progressive MWR of 55/120/195/270. The aim, he stated, was to create a more competitive world, where long spells of team suckageness, over many seasons will no longer be tolerated. another goal is to use the rule as an attractant to potential future owners at rollover. The Beloved Commish, Most Gracious and Wise, made it clear that, while no fan of rules, the situations where a team just loses and loses and loses and actually gets from horrid to fucking atrocious over an extended period is detrimental to the stability of the world. When asked if there will be a maximum win total, camden68 clearly asserted, in a commanding tone that there will not be, even though many HBDers seemingly disavow the D part of HBD and claim that hugely successful teams are a sophistacted society's greatest evil, and that just like crappy teams, they must be eliminated. Teams are protected this season from the one season MWR, but will be subject to the progressive total for next season. So if your team is on pace for 45-55 wins, better start planning for next season because you will need to improve on that record significantly. Asked if this will impact the 60/40 rule the Greatness that is He, said no, the 60/40 rule stands as is, because it works extremely well. When pressed, His Fantasticality acknowledged that in the current recruiting climate of HBD, banishing owners will create longer wait times for BPF at rollover, due to potentially increased openings, and that this is a serious concern. He iterated that banishment will be automatic for any new owner, or owner with less than three seasons. More established owners will receive a warning if they are with 5 wins from the minimum, or have extenuating circumstances like a devastating in jury, or collective, inexplicable underperformances. Bit his Graciousness does have limts of what's tolerable and there are some pointed cases (or just case) currently in BPF that need to be avoided going forward.
The Commish then launched into a medley of Norwegian death Metal songs, bit the head of a dik-dik, urinated on the podium and recieved enthusiastic fellatio from a bevy of nubile college girls, dropping the mic afterwards, and abruptly departing, shouting "you have been served, fuckers!"

by Buck Cub, sports reporter