Vancouver Coastals
Last season: 103-59/ predicted: 108-54
A chick I'm seeing just sent me a text saying she just picked up two bottles of lube. I'm going to be 42 this year, this chick is 24. I don't know what it is, but I just never meet chicks my own age. In the past few years I have just fucked idiotic numbers of chicks between 19-27 yrs old. I live in a town with something like 7 degree granting colleges and universities, it's just filthy with young women. Anyways, my teams alright, can't wait to get Hideo Suh back. Still I'm anticipating underperformances and major injuries. I might get the bye but if not I'm upset material in the first round.
Offense: A-
Pitching: A+
Fielding: A-
MVP: Lance Morris
Cy Young: Curtis McMillon
Forecast: 102-60
Honolulu Harpoon
Last season: 87-75/ predicted: 73-89
I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, supposed to be the most beautiful place on earth. I don't know shit about the stadium in Honolulu, but I would hope it's outdoors and with a gorgeous view. There has to be something to keep the imaginary fans interested. Won't be much to see on the field. Remember how hot Mila Kunis looked in Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Do you think those were her actual tits in that photo?
Offense: C-
Pitching: C
Defense: C
MVP: Juan Mercado
Cy Young: rex Coles
Forecast: 70-92
Salt Lake City Illuminati
Last season: 65-97/ predicted: 103-59
What the fuck happened last season?! Seriously. themehl has won 3 WS, this team was good. What the fuck happened? The guy makes bone-headed moves and then bails. If you're going to dismantle then at least stick around for the rebuild. Well frankum, you been presented a challenge. What looked like a dangerous line-up has been reduced to a couple of nice top-end hitters and then some driftwood. The pitching is a touch more stable, and the defense is solid. Go forth frankum, rejuvenate.
Offense: C
Pitching: C+ish
Fielding: B
MVP: Alex Cubillan
Cy Young: Gregory Finnessy
Forecast: 74-88
Scottsdale Swarm
Last season: 69-93/ predicted: 71-91
I know my American geography, but where the fuck is Scottsdale? Arizona I think. maybe I'll go google it...yep, Arizona, Maricopa County, Official Motto: "The West's Most Western City" (do they still have gunfights at noon?), population: 244,000, sister city of Kingston Ontario, where a good friend lives, and Cairns, Australia where I spent three months fucking my brains out in '88, apparently no one famous has ever come fromscottsdale itself, though I could be wrong. In BPF scottsdale has a fairly mediocre baseball team. It's about prospects now.
Offense: C-
Pitching: C
Defense: C
MVP: Adios Santiago Baez
Cy Young: Morgan Brow
Forecast: 73-89
Ok fuckers, that's the previews done. i hope you laughed, you cried, you drank a beer, smoked a joint, logged on to Youporn and made some knuckle-children.
Now then, good luck in the season ahead all, and thanks for playing.
All the World News that's unfit for print.
Friday, March 26, 2010
AL: The Dirty South
Austin Argonauts
Last season: 73-89/ predicted: 81-81
The Lone Ranger: Tonto, do you see what I see?
Tonto: Yes kemosabe, I see much trouble with Austin. many players marginal ML quality, me no like-um the looks of this.
The Lone Ranger: Fuckin' A, Chief! Looks like someone is playing for the number one pick next season, hopefully they won't embarrass the world, let alone themselves. many decent FAs still on the market and a 12.7mil payroll means there is cash.
Me: I have fucked chicks waaay uglier than this squad.
Offense: D
Pitching: D
Defense: C-
MVP: n/a
Cy Young: n/a
Forecast: 55-107 (optimistic)
Memphis MAD DOGS
last season: 82-80/ predicted: 91-71
Three seasons have passed since the heady back-to-back World Series days and sved appears to be in reload mode. When your DH is your most valuable player you know you are in for a long campaign. Gloves where it's needed, and some top end bats will steal some games but the pitching isn't deep. This version of the MAD DOGS are decidely neutered.
Offense: C
Pitching: C-
Defense: B
MVP: Tori Wagner
Cy Young: Yeah...about that
Pitching appears to have fallen off from the heady WS days. Still a threat, but more in the wild card mix.
Forecast: 70-92
Richmond Informers
Last season: 78-84/ predicted: 68-94
We are seeing a changing of the guard in the Dirty South. Former powerhouses Memphis and Austin have fallen on leaner times. Richmond, on the other hand, is set to make a run at the division title after finishing out of the division basement last season, the first time in franchise history. Though, to be honest, the division is there for the taking.
Offense: C
Pitching: C+
Defense: B
MVP: Hunter Bryant
Cy Young: Lou Piper
Forecast: 80-82
Kansas City Faggots
Last season: 84-78/ predicted: 94-68
I have always found it weird that homosexuals are attracted to people of the same sex that display and/or possess traits of the opposite sex they are supposedly repulsed by. Like, why are so many dykes masculine? To me, a true gay man would be the most manly dude around but likes to suck dick and take it up the shitter. These mincing queens are just confusing me. And what about guys atrracted to men in drag, that's just fucked up. And did you know a large portion of gay men don't do the butt stuff. I knew this one guy who would always say "I may be gay, but my ass is straight". I have no problem where two (or more) consenting adults stick their naughty bits, doesn't threaten me in any way (I loves my pussy), just confused by the whole thing. It's all about the junk folks! BTW .500 will win this division.
Offense: C
Pitching: B-
Defense: C-
MVP: Nick Oliver
Cy Young: Paul Harris
Forecast: 79-83
Last season: 73-89/ predicted: 81-81
The Lone Ranger: Tonto, do you see what I see?
Tonto: Yes kemosabe, I see much trouble with Austin. many players marginal ML quality, me no like-um the looks of this.
The Lone Ranger: Fuckin' A, Chief! Looks like someone is playing for the number one pick next season, hopefully they won't embarrass the world, let alone themselves. many decent FAs still on the market and a 12.7mil payroll means there is cash.
Me: I have fucked chicks waaay uglier than this squad.
Offense: D
Pitching: D
Defense: C-
MVP: n/a
Cy Young: n/a
Forecast: 55-107 (optimistic)
Memphis MAD DOGS
last season: 82-80/ predicted: 91-71
Three seasons have passed since the heady back-to-back World Series days and sved appears to be in reload mode. When your DH is your most valuable player you know you are in for a long campaign. Gloves where it's needed, and some top end bats will steal some games but the pitching isn't deep. This version of the MAD DOGS are decidely neutered.
Offense: C
Pitching: C-
Defense: B
MVP: Tori Wagner
Cy Young: Yeah...about that
Pitching appears to have fallen off from the heady WS days. Still a threat, but more in the wild card mix.
Forecast: 70-92
Richmond Informers
Last season: 78-84/ predicted: 68-94
We are seeing a changing of the guard in the Dirty South. Former powerhouses Memphis and Austin have fallen on leaner times. Richmond, on the other hand, is set to make a run at the division title after finishing out of the division basement last season, the first time in franchise history. Though, to be honest, the division is there for the taking.
Offense: C
Pitching: C+
Defense: B
MVP: Hunter Bryant
Cy Young: Lou Piper
Forecast: 80-82
Kansas City Faggots
Last season: 84-78/ predicted: 94-68
I have always found it weird that homosexuals are attracted to people of the same sex that display and/or possess traits of the opposite sex they are supposedly repulsed by. Like, why are so many dykes masculine? To me, a true gay man would be the most manly dude around but likes to suck dick and take it up the shitter. These mincing queens are just confusing me. And what about guys atrracted to men in drag, that's just fucked up. And did you know a large portion of gay men don't do the butt stuff. I knew this one guy who would always say "I may be gay, but my ass is straight". I have no problem where two (or more) consenting adults stick their naughty bits, doesn't threaten me in any way (I loves my pussy), just confused by the whole thing. It's all about the junk folks! BTW .500 will win this division.
Offense: C
Pitching: B-
Defense: C-
MVP: Nick Oliver
Cy Young: Paul Harris
Forecast: 79-83
NL West S9 Preview
Oakland Ownage -- 109-53 in S7, 90-72 in S8
Three-time division winner, the Ownage also own one of the largest payrolls in all of Sag's BPF with nearly $130M in salary this year. Led by Delino Hall, David Ramirez, recently acquired Albert Cairo, and Travis Shea, they have one of the most prolific offenses in all of the league. Dummy Wayne, Charles Greenberg, and Travis Brooks are three of the top pitchers on the roster, but another two or three guys are right behind them. Not one to rest on his laurels, tomhighway spent the offseason signing FA's and making blockbuster trades. Stand still and you get passed. These guys will surely get back to their 100+ win normalcy.
Offense: A
Defense: B+
Pitching: A
MVP: Dogfight between Hall and Cairo
Cy Young: Dummy
Prediction: 105-57, 1st in Division
Colorado Swingers -- 87-75 in S7, 89-73 in S8
The picture of consistency, the Swingers have had win totals spanning only five games over the last four seasons. But is playing above .500 baseball and missing the playoffs good enough for fans in Colorado? This team has never seen the post-season, so what did bbwinksdaddy do? Well he did a little bit, bringing in Ralph Jenkins and Brian Nakajima. Is it enough to get this team into the playoffs? The number two team in each of the other divisions is pretty good. And we don't even know if Colorado has what it takes to be number two in the West.
Offense: B-
Defense: B-
Pitching: C+
MVP: Michael Washington
Cy Young: Troy Serrano
Prediction: 74-88, 4th in Division
Las Vegas Bandits -- 72-90 in S7, 75-87 in S8
Like Colorado, LV has been very consistent lately, but they're on the wrong side of that .500 record that they have been shooting for. The franchise hasn't seen a .500+ season since the inception of the world, and that's bad news. shynent has an answer though. Pedro Fucking Aguilera. A huge contract for a big-time player, Pedro gives this team immediate credibility. Throw in David Canseco (who has been trying for years to change his last name) and this team isn't fucking around at the plate this year. The question is whether or not the pitching can keep them in games.
Offense: B+
Defense: B+
Pitching: B-
MVP: Aguilera
Cy Young: Gene Blackley
Prediction: 78-84, 3rd in Division
Albuquerque Sandias -- 81-81 in S7, 69-93 in S8
After winning the division four of the first five seasons, the San Diego/Albuquerque franchise has been in a steady decline (rebuilding?) the last few seasons. Selling off some older players and bringing in some youth, the front office has been wheelin' and dealin' quite a bit the last few seasons. The starting lineup is now a Who's Who of former first round picks, led by Buck Cain, Humberto Alarcon, Willie Parker, and Julian Mendez. As always, the pitching staff is held down by Rico Rivera, and he gets help from Mariano Nunez and Oscar Hamilton. Dean Bailey and Charles Zhang were the big FA signings, while Luis James and Dick Iorg were acquired via trade. Is it enough to get the team back on a winning track?
Offense: B
Defense: B-
Pitching: B+
MVP: Buck
Cy Young: Rico
Prediction: 82-80, 2nd in Division
Three-time division winner, the Ownage also own one of the largest payrolls in all of Sag's BPF with nearly $130M in salary this year. Led by Delino Hall, David Ramirez, recently acquired Albert Cairo, and Travis Shea, they have one of the most prolific offenses in all of the league. Dummy Wayne, Charles Greenberg, and Travis Brooks are three of the top pitchers on the roster, but another two or three guys are right behind them. Not one to rest on his laurels, tomhighway spent the offseason signing FA's and making blockbuster trades. Stand still and you get passed. These guys will surely get back to their 100+ win normalcy.
Offense: A
Defense: B+
Pitching: A
MVP: Dogfight between Hall and Cairo
Cy Young: Dummy
Prediction: 105-57, 1st in Division
Colorado Swingers -- 87-75 in S7, 89-73 in S8
The picture of consistency, the Swingers have had win totals spanning only five games over the last four seasons. But is playing above .500 baseball and missing the playoffs good enough for fans in Colorado? This team has never seen the post-season, so what did bbwinksdaddy do? Well he did a little bit, bringing in Ralph Jenkins and Brian Nakajima. Is it enough to get this team into the playoffs? The number two team in each of the other divisions is pretty good. And we don't even know if Colorado has what it takes to be number two in the West.
Offense: B-
Defense: B-
Pitching: C+
MVP: Michael Washington
Cy Young: Troy Serrano
Prediction: 74-88, 4th in Division
Las Vegas Bandits -- 72-90 in S7, 75-87 in S8
Like Colorado, LV has been very consistent lately, but they're on the wrong side of that .500 record that they have been shooting for. The franchise hasn't seen a .500+ season since the inception of the world, and that's bad news. shynent has an answer though. Pedro Fucking Aguilera. A huge contract for a big-time player, Pedro gives this team immediate credibility. Throw in David Canseco (who has been trying for years to change his last name) and this team isn't fucking around at the plate this year. The question is whether or not the pitching can keep them in games.
Offense: B+
Defense: B+
Pitching: B-
MVP: Aguilera
Cy Young: Gene Blackley
Prediction: 78-84, 3rd in Division
Albuquerque Sandias -- 81-81 in S7, 69-93 in S8
After winning the division four of the first five seasons, the San Diego/Albuquerque franchise has been in a steady decline (rebuilding?) the last few seasons. Selling off some older players and bringing in some youth, the front office has been wheelin' and dealin' quite a bit the last few seasons. The starting lineup is now a Who's Who of former first round picks, led by Buck Cain, Humberto Alarcon, Willie Parker, and Julian Mendez. As always, the pitching staff is held down by Rico Rivera, and he gets help from Mariano Nunez and Oscar Hamilton. Dean Bailey and Charles Zhang were the big FA signings, while Luis James and Dick Iorg were acquired via trade. Is it enough to get the team back on a winning track?
Offense: B
Defense: B-
Pitching: B+
MVP: Buck
Cy Young: Rico
Prediction: 82-80, 2nd in Division
Thursday, March 25, 2010
NL South S9 Preview
The NL South, aka, the division where winning 90+ games doesn't mean shit.
Jackson Generals -- 93-69 in S7, 96-66 in S8
An Original, playboy33 has never finished anywhere near .500, and had four seasons in a row of 100+ wins back in the early days. Three NLCS appearances, winning their apperance in S5 and getting beat in the WS, the Generals are the picture of consistency. Take a picture of my toilet at 8am everyday, and you'll see me sitting on it. Take a picture of the NL playoffs every season, and you'll see Jackson in it. Except for S1 and S6, which I equate to my mornings when I'm hung over and I don't make it to the crapper until 11 or noon. Still led by Jermaine O'Rourke and Willie Strickland, they'll get some help this year from newly acquired Rico Arias, while Eric Myette helps the pitching staff.
Offense: B+
Defense: B+
Pitching: B-
MVP: O'Rourke
Cy Young: Jayson Stahl and Myette
Prediction: 101-61, 1st in the Division
Jacksonville Jimmies -- 95-67 in S7, 92-70 in S8
They won the WS for the Mighty NL back in S6, then lost in the NLCS in S7, then got bounced from the first round as a WC in S8. So what happens with this team in S9? A bounce back, or a continual spiral downwards? No big FA signings and no trades means the squad is very similar to last year. Julius Neal is still here. He's pretty good. Charles Wan is now a full-time ML'er. The pitching staff is fairly deep, with the likes of Aramis Valenzuela, Shawn Roosevelt, and Alfredo Calles leading the way. And despite reports to the contrary, Rick Halama is still alive. Is he a first-ballot HOF'er? This reporter thinks so.
Offense: B+
Defense: C+
Pitching: B-
MVP: Neal, unless he blows out his knee. Gosh, I'd hate to see that. You know, he's never had an injury. I'm just sayin'.....
Cy Young: Calles
Prediction: 95-67, 2nd in Division, probably a WC
Louisville Sluggers -- 80-82 in S7, 84-78 in S8
We missed it, but our world is officially two years old, as I believe the first real day was something around Feb 14th of 2008. So somewhere in early May of 2008, jubalado and his Louisville team won the first ever BPF World Series. They went back in S4, but then the franchise has only made the playoffs once in the last four seasons. Is this their year? They're in a bitch of a division. One great trade brought Bubba Coles to the Sluggers (pssst, you might want to assign him in the near future), and he will lend a helping hand to the aging Kennie Sabel and Tex Wiltse. The pitching is led by young Sammy Flores, who the guys in the locker room call "Daisy," and Oscar Dunham, who everyone calls "Pops," for obvious reasons.
Offense: B
Defense: B+
Pitching: C
MVP: Coles, if he doesn't end up on someone else's team because he never gets assigned.
Cy Young: Flores
Prediction: 90-72, 3rd in the Division
New Orleans Posse -- 57-105 in S7, 59-103 in S8
Three consecutive seasons of sub .400 ball, the fans in New Orleans are growing tired of dennisdee's antics. "He's spending $90M on the team, and that trickles down to us in the stands," said an anonymous fan, who simply wanted to be known as Remy. "I've binhavin these season tickets fuh eight years, and he brought in these hawt cheerleaduhs last season, but we gets tired of them around the 5th inning. I tell you what, podna, he needs to get this ship righted, or I'm gunna go up da road and get me some Saints tickets." The fans have spoken. Has dennisdee listened? He acquired Tike Waters during the offseason to help the offense and defense, as Tike won a gold glove at 3B last season. Hod Lowell returns for the Posse, and Rudy Cradle is getting called up to the ML squad for this season. Can this team get on the right side of that 100 loss mark? We think so.
Offense: C
Defense: B
Pitching: C
MVP: Lowell
Cy Young: Ummmmm
Prediction: 65-97, 4th in the Division
Jackson Generals -- 93-69 in S7, 96-66 in S8
An Original, playboy33 has never finished anywhere near .500, and had four seasons in a row of 100+ wins back in the early days. Three NLCS appearances, winning their apperance in S5 and getting beat in the WS, the Generals are the picture of consistency. Take a picture of my toilet at 8am everyday, and you'll see me sitting on it. Take a picture of the NL playoffs every season, and you'll see Jackson in it. Except for S1 and S6, which I equate to my mornings when I'm hung over and I don't make it to the crapper until 11 or noon. Still led by Jermaine O'Rourke and Willie Strickland, they'll get some help this year from newly acquired Rico Arias, while Eric Myette helps the pitching staff.
Offense: B+
Defense: B+
Pitching: B-
MVP: O'Rourke
Cy Young: Jayson Stahl and Myette
Prediction: 101-61, 1st in the Division
Jacksonville Jimmies -- 95-67 in S7, 92-70 in S8
They won the WS for the Mighty NL back in S6, then lost in the NLCS in S7, then got bounced from the first round as a WC in S8. So what happens with this team in S9? A bounce back, or a continual spiral downwards? No big FA signings and no trades means the squad is very similar to last year. Julius Neal is still here. He's pretty good. Charles Wan is now a full-time ML'er. The pitching staff is fairly deep, with the likes of Aramis Valenzuela, Shawn Roosevelt, and Alfredo Calles leading the way. And despite reports to the contrary, Rick Halama is still alive. Is he a first-ballot HOF'er? This reporter thinks so.
Offense: B+
Defense: C+
Pitching: B-
MVP: Neal, unless he blows out his knee. Gosh, I'd hate to see that. You know, he's never had an injury. I'm just sayin'.....
Cy Young: Calles
Prediction: 95-67, 2nd in Division, probably a WC
Louisville Sluggers -- 80-82 in S7, 84-78 in S8
We missed it, but our world is officially two years old, as I believe the first real day was something around Feb 14th of 2008. So somewhere in early May of 2008, jubalado and his Louisville team won the first ever BPF World Series. They went back in S4, but then the franchise has only made the playoffs once in the last four seasons. Is this their year? They're in a bitch of a division. One great trade brought Bubba Coles to the Sluggers (pssst, you might want to assign him in the near future), and he will lend a helping hand to the aging Kennie Sabel and Tex Wiltse. The pitching is led by young Sammy Flores, who the guys in the locker room call "Daisy," and Oscar Dunham, who everyone calls "Pops," for obvious reasons.
Offense: B
Defense: B+
Pitching: C
MVP: Coles, if he doesn't end up on someone else's team because he never gets assigned.
Cy Young: Flores
Prediction: 90-72, 3rd in the Division
New Orleans Posse -- 57-105 in S7, 59-103 in S8
Three consecutive seasons of sub .400 ball, the fans in New Orleans are growing tired of dennisdee's antics. "He's spending $90M on the team, and that trickles down to us in the stands," said an anonymous fan, who simply wanted to be known as Remy. "I've binhavin these season tickets fuh eight years, and he brought in these hawt cheerleaduhs last season, but we gets tired of them around the 5th inning. I tell you what, podna, he needs to get this ship righted, or I'm gunna go up da road and get me some Saints tickets." The fans have spoken. Has dennisdee listened? He acquired Tike Waters during the offseason to help the offense and defense, as Tike won a gold glove at 3B last season. Hod Lowell returns for the Posse, and Rudy Cradle is getting called up to the ML squad for this season. Can this team get on the right side of that 100 loss mark? We think so.
Offense: C
Defense: B
Pitching: C
MVP: Lowell
Cy Young: Ummmmm
Prediction: 65-97, 4th in the Division
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
NL East S9 Preview
It's a Wednesday night. My wife is out of town. I'm watching the Caps play the Penguins. And I'm drinking much more than I'm eating. So this might start out well, but quickly regress, so just stay with me here.
Indianapolis Indians -- 95-67 in S7, 92-70 in S8 (WS appearance)
In his third season with the franchise, tsufugazi went to and lost the WS. He lost in the NLCS the next season, didn't make it out of the first round in the season following that, and then was gone from the league. rootgargle went to and lost the WS in his third season with this franchise.....that's all I've got right now. None of this will be relevant unless he loses in the NLCS this season. Mr Gargle is running one of the highest payrolls I have ever seen in HBD, with $135M in player salary this season. The $20M Man is a good portion of that payroll, with Kevin Sandberg accounting for another $10M of that cash. Of the 25 men on the ML roster, only 4 are making less than $1M this season. Heads will roll in Indy if the team doesn't win the WS this year.
Offense: A-
Defense: B++
Pitching: B+
MVP: I dunno. Wilkerson? Ryan? Sandberg?
Cy Young: Frias? Matthews? Drew? Yes.
Prediction: 98-64, 1st in the Division
Hartford Insurance Men -- 73-89 in S7, 89-73 in S8
coonja76 only had this franchise for one season, and he made possibly the best acquisition of the team's history when he signed Alejandro Lee to a huge deal worth over $22M. A lifetime .336 hitter at the ML level, and locked up through S13, he is one of the top players in the world at the tender age of 24. He gets some help from Alex Pizzaro, Alex Starr, and Sandy Rolison. Throw in some above average pitching, and this team is very dangerous if it can stay healthy.
Offense: A-
Defense: C
Pitching: C+
MVP: If he doesn't get hurt, it's obviously Lee
Cy Young: Vin Arias
Prediction: 90-72, 2nd in the Division, maybe a WC spot
St. Louis Oxbow -- 81-81 in S7, 84-78 in S8
If you want to go back even further, this team was below .500 in S6, and below .400 in S5. So they should win something like 95 games this year, right? I mean they brought in Jumbo Long for fucks sake. They also brought in Byron Watson and Wilton Wang. But the offense is lacking, so if the pitching staff gives up more than four or five runs, the team is fucked.
Offense: C-
Defense: C
Pitching: C+
MVP: Wil Ward
Cy Young: Jumbo
Prediction: 81-81, 3rd in the Division
I need to take a crap, hold on........
OK, I'm back.
Durham Bulls -- 53-109 in S7, 68-94 in S8
In 8 seasons, this team has only finished above .500 one time, way back in S1. Goodness. kscott2421 is slowly bringing the team back from the ledge, but there is still a lot of work to be done. And with no big FA signings and no trades during the offseason, the team is looking very much like last season's version. Jon Bohanon was a cheap signing, but he isn't getting any younger. Jumbo Towers is a good hitter, but doesn't do much in the field. Al Reese is the only really legit starter to speak of. Bad news bears.
Offense: D+
Defense: C-
Pitching: C-
MVP: Towers
Cy Young: Reese
Prediction: 60-102, 4th in the Division
Indianapolis Indians -- 95-67 in S7, 92-70 in S8 (WS appearance)
In his third season with the franchise, tsufugazi went to and lost the WS. He lost in the NLCS the next season, didn't make it out of the first round in the season following that, and then was gone from the league. rootgargle went to and lost the WS in his third season with this franchise.....that's all I've got right now. None of this will be relevant unless he loses in the NLCS this season. Mr Gargle is running one of the highest payrolls I have ever seen in HBD, with $135M in player salary this season. The $20M Man is a good portion of that payroll, with Kevin Sandberg accounting for another $10M of that cash. Of the 25 men on the ML roster, only 4 are making less than $1M this season. Heads will roll in Indy if the team doesn't win the WS this year.
Offense: A-
Defense: B++
Pitching: B+
MVP: I dunno. Wilkerson? Ryan? Sandberg?
Cy Young: Frias? Matthews? Drew? Yes.
Prediction: 98-64, 1st in the Division
Hartford Insurance Men -- 73-89 in S7, 89-73 in S8
coonja76 only had this franchise for one season, and he made possibly the best acquisition of the team's history when he signed Alejandro Lee to a huge deal worth over $22M. A lifetime .336 hitter at the ML level, and locked up through S13, he is one of the top players in the world at the tender age of 24. He gets some help from Alex Pizzaro, Alex Starr, and Sandy Rolison. Throw in some above average pitching, and this team is very dangerous if it can stay healthy.
Offense: A-
Defense: C
Pitching: C+
MVP: If he doesn't get hurt, it's obviously Lee
Cy Young: Vin Arias
Prediction: 90-72, 2nd in the Division, maybe a WC spot
St. Louis Oxbow -- 81-81 in S7, 84-78 in S8
If you want to go back even further, this team was below .500 in S6, and below .400 in S5. So they should win something like 95 games this year, right? I mean they brought in Jumbo Long for fucks sake. They also brought in Byron Watson and Wilton Wang. But the offense is lacking, so if the pitching staff gives up more than four or five runs, the team is fucked.
Offense: C-
Defense: C
Pitching: C+
MVP: Wil Ward
Cy Young: Jumbo
Prediction: 81-81, 3rd in the Division
I need to take a crap, hold on........
OK, I'm back.
Durham Bulls -- 53-109 in S7, 68-94 in S8
In 8 seasons, this team has only finished above .500 one time, way back in S1. Goodness. kscott2421 is slowly bringing the team back from the ledge, but there is still a lot of work to be done. And with no big FA signings and no trades during the offseason, the team is looking very much like last season's version. Jon Bohanon was a cheap signing, but he isn't getting any younger. Jumbo Towers is a good hitter, but doesn't do much in the field. Al Reese is the only really legit starter to speak of. Bad news bears.
Offense: D+
Defense: C-
Pitching: C-
MVP: Towers
Cy Young: Reese
Prediction: 60-102, 4th in the Division
AL East
AL East
Chicago Black Holes
last season: 66-96/ predicted: 70-92
Stable ownership for a few seasons now, but still scuffling along. Should start reaping the benefits soon of season after season of high draft picks. Will see another season of blowing in the Windy City though. Well, not really a terrible team, and will steal more than a few games. Stuart Reid as rebounded nicely from reigny's mismanagement. right now I'm eating a breakfast burrito i made with chorizo, brisket, corn, peppers, cheddar, and other cheeses. Pretty tasty.
Offense: C+
Pitching: C
Defense: B-
MVP: Reid
Cy Young: Ricky Kidd
Forecast: 72-90
Fucking New Fucking York Fucking Yankees
DEFENDING CHAMPS
last season: 113-49/ predicted: 96-66
Where do I begin. Fuck. It could be that devonjain is a very astute owner but I prefer to think he gives the powers that be at HBD great head. Five WS appearences in eight seasons speaks for itself. Despite claims of a rebuild season, this team again, looks poised to challenge for the title. The road always seems to go through New York, so I anticipate a Milwaukee/NY ALCS. Geronimo Cruz is the best catcher in the AL and is the cornerstone of an always top offense. the pitching remains potent. Fuck you devon.
Offense: A
Pitching: B+
Defense: B-
MVP: Cruz
Cy Young: Ray Post
Forecast: 102-60
Trenton Enforcers
Last Season: 68-94/ predicted: 73-89
Trenton is kind of like Detroit to me. I always expect more from the team than is delivered. While high in overall, the team has lowish to low splits in both the line-up and the pitching staff. Meaning the won't get tired as teams run the score up against the enforcers. just kidding, well sort of, the best humour is always based in truth. I either made that up or read it somewhere, I dunno. Aaaron Spahn and Gregory Jackson give the line-up some credibility but they only take up two out of every nine Enforcer at bats. I am thankful everyday that I've never been married or have any children. freedom, sweet freedom.
Offense: C
Pitching: C
Defense: C+
MVP: Spahn
Cy Young: Brian Stanifer (?!)
Forecast: 68-94
Syracuse Ice Truck Killers
Last season: 89-73/ predicted: 94-68
Whenever I watch Dexter I keep thinking how shitty those cops are. They are ALWAYS on the wrong track and fall for every red herring thrown their way. Fuck solving crimes, they couldn't solve a placemat maze at Chuckee Cheeze's. And holy fuck that Rita character was a pain in the ass. Now she's a lesbo on Desperate Housewives. Like I watch the show and all, and I enjoy it, but it really is poorly written and terribly acted. And holy fuck, how many serial killers can one Southeast American city hold. No one would ever leave the fucking house.
Offense: C+ (appears to have backed off power in favour of speed)
Pitching: C+ (high control to mitigate lowish splits)
Defense: C- (how has preventing runs ever helped anyone?)
Overall: B
MVP: Robb Smith
Cy Young: Brent Gonzalez
Forecast: 84-78
Chicago Black Holes
last season: 66-96/ predicted: 70-92
Stable ownership for a few seasons now, but still scuffling along. Should start reaping the benefits soon of season after season of high draft picks. Will see another season of blowing in the Windy City though. Well, not really a terrible team, and will steal more than a few games. Stuart Reid as rebounded nicely from reigny's mismanagement. right now I'm eating a breakfast burrito i made with chorizo, brisket, corn, peppers, cheddar, and other cheeses. Pretty tasty.
Offense: C+
Pitching: C
Defense: B-
MVP: Reid
Cy Young: Ricky Kidd
Forecast: 72-90
Fucking New Fucking York Fucking Yankees
DEFENDING CHAMPS
last season: 113-49/ predicted: 96-66
Where do I begin. Fuck. It could be that devonjain is a very astute owner but I prefer to think he gives the powers that be at HBD great head. Five WS appearences in eight seasons speaks for itself. Despite claims of a rebuild season, this team again, looks poised to challenge for the title. The road always seems to go through New York, so I anticipate a Milwaukee/NY ALCS. Geronimo Cruz is the best catcher in the AL and is the cornerstone of an always top offense. the pitching remains potent. Fuck you devon.
Offense: A
Pitching: B+
Defense: B-
MVP: Cruz
Cy Young: Ray Post
Forecast: 102-60
Trenton Enforcers
Last Season: 68-94/ predicted: 73-89
Trenton is kind of like Detroit to me. I always expect more from the team than is delivered. While high in overall, the team has lowish to low splits in both the line-up and the pitching staff. Meaning the won't get tired as teams run the score up against the enforcers. just kidding, well sort of, the best humour is always based in truth. I either made that up or read it somewhere, I dunno. Aaaron Spahn and Gregory Jackson give the line-up some credibility but they only take up two out of every nine Enforcer at bats. I am thankful everyday that I've never been married or have any children. freedom, sweet freedom.
Offense: C
Pitching: C
Defense: C+
MVP: Spahn
Cy Young: Brian Stanifer (?!)
Forecast: 68-94
Syracuse Ice Truck Killers
Last season: 89-73/ predicted: 94-68
Whenever I watch Dexter I keep thinking how shitty those cops are. They are ALWAYS on the wrong track and fall for every red herring thrown their way. Fuck solving crimes, they couldn't solve a placemat maze at Chuckee Cheeze's. And holy fuck that Rita character was a pain in the ass. Now she's a lesbo on Desperate Housewives. Like I watch the show and all, and I enjoy it, but it really is poorly written and terribly acted. And holy fuck, how many serial killers can one Southeast American city hold. No one would ever leave the fucking house.
Offense: C+ (appears to have backed off power in favour of speed)
Pitching: C+ (high control to mitigate lowish splits)
Defense: C- (how has preventing runs ever helped anyone?)
Overall: B
MVP: Robb Smith
Cy Young: Brent Gonzalez
Forecast: 84-78
Grab Your Ankles, It's The Season 9 AL Preview!
Hey Assholes, I now you've been dying to know what I think of your team, well die no longer. Take a deep breath, relax your sphincter and let's do this.
AL North
Burlington Northerns
Last season: 68-94/predicted: 70-92
...Sigh...I guess I have to be careful here. The utter degradation of a once upon a time proud franchise continues. I mean, sure there could be an overperformance as has happened in seasons past, but come on, let's get serious. Anyhoo, nice job drew! A couple new FA faces in wild armed SS Scott Meyers and 2B Louie Gutierrez as well as a few pitchers of marginal durability and quality. Looking forward to a Top 5 pick in season 10.
Offense: C
Pitching: D
Defense: C-
MVP: Kent Rivera
Cy Young: Joshua Simon
Forecast: 62-100/ 4th in Division.
Montreal Maroons
Last season: 90-72/ predicted: 90-72
Excellent defense where it counts will help a weakish group of starters. The offense is built around power and eye, which might be unfortunate due to the power reduction (which continues despite the adjustment). This season's Maroons line-up looks weaker than in previous seasons. At some point you have to decide whther to keep trying to stockpile or make a run for it.
Offense: C+
Pitching: C+
Defense: A-
MVP: Fausto Campos
Cy Young: Bucky Beck
Forecast: 76-86
Milwaukee Ueckers
Last season: 108-54/ predicted: 92-70
The Extreme Make-over HBD Edition continues? My World Series favourite for season 9, three seasons removed from being a totally lost franchise. Sick line-up, serious defense where it counts, and very good pitching. New additions include Max Singleton, Emil Macias, Brandon Carter and Kane Knotts.
Offense: A
Pitching: A-
Defense: B+
MVP: Dizzy Allen
Cy Young: Tex Lombardi
Forecast: 110-52
Detroit Drive
Last season: 61-101/ predicted 66-96
This team always looks better on paper to me. Even last year I thought I would play it safe and lowball my prediction. The offense should keep Detroit in games and the pitching, though not Milwaukee, is far from awful. Defense seems to have really dropped off the radar.
Offense: C+
Pitching: C
Defense: C-
MVP: Nate LaRoche
Cy Young: Kazuhiro Lim
Forecast: 68-94
AL North
Burlington Northerns
Last season: 68-94/predicted: 70-92
...Sigh...I guess I have to be careful here. The utter degradation of a once upon a time proud franchise continues. I mean, sure there could be an overperformance as has happened in seasons past, but come on, let's get serious. Anyhoo, nice job drew! A couple new FA faces in wild armed SS Scott Meyers and 2B Louie Gutierrez as well as a few pitchers of marginal durability and quality. Looking forward to a Top 5 pick in season 10.
Offense: C
Pitching: D
Defense: C-
MVP: Kent Rivera
Cy Young: Joshua Simon
Forecast: 62-100/ 4th in Division.
Montreal Maroons
Last season: 90-72/ predicted: 90-72
Excellent defense where it counts will help a weakish group of starters. The offense is built around power and eye, which might be unfortunate due to the power reduction (which continues despite the adjustment). This season's Maroons line-up looks weaker than in previous seasons. At some point you have to decide whther to keep trying to stockpile or make a run for it.
Offense: C+
Pitching: C+
Defense: A-
MVP: Fausto Campos
Cy Young: Bucky Beck
Forecast: 76-86
Milwaukee Ueckers
Last season: 108-54/ predicted: 92-70
The Extreme Make-over HBD Edition continues? My World Series favourite for season 9, three seasons removed from being a totally lost franchise. Sick line-up, serious defense where it counts, and very good pitching. New additions include Max Singleton, Emil Macias, Brandon Carter and Kane Knotts.
Offense: A
Pitching: A-
Defense: B+
MVP: Dizzy Allen
Cy Young: Tex Lombardi
Forecast: 110-52
Detroit Drive
Last season: 61-101/ predicted 66-96
This team always looks better on paper to me. Even last year I thought I would play it safe and lowball my prediction. The offense should keep Detroit in games and the pitching, though not Milwaukee, is far from awful. Defense seems to have really dropped off the radar.
Offense: C+
Pitching: C
Defense: C-
MVP: Nate LaRoche
Cy Young: Kazuhiro Lim
Forecast: 68-94
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
NL North S9 Preview
Iowa City Corn-ish Hens -- 75-87 in S7, 84-78 in S8
Going into their fourth season under hshack's rule, Iowa City is looking better and better. Led by former first round pick Davy Matthews and Yamil Dali at the plate and David Miranda and Freddy Kojima on the mound, IC really has their shit together. My only complaint: they didn't do anything during the offseason. Teams that stand still will usually end up getting passed. If the young guys like Bong, Matthews, Ritz and Tabaka can continue to improve, then maybe the team won't need high-priced FA's or big trades.
Offense: C
Defense: B
Pitching: C
MVP: Matthews, duh
Cy Young: Kojima
Prediction -- 81-81, 3rd in the Division
Cincinnati Red Thumpers -- 92-70 in S7, 83-79 in S8
One of The Originals, statman527 has seen his franchise rise from the valley up to the top of the tiny mountain that is the NL North, but the mountains of other divisions have squashed his little mountain when they have gone up against each other in the postseason. Flash Bass has lived up to the hype that comes with a top draft pick, after being given a MLB deal and spending less than 300 games in the minors. This year he has Mac Collins helping him out, after Collins spent a whopping 511 games in the minors, spending significant time at every level. J.C. Stewart and Wesley Howry should lead the pitching. With only three players on the ML roster over the age of 30, youth will certainly lead this team.
Offense: B+
Defense: B
Pitching: B-
MVP: Bass
Cy Young: Howry
Prediction -- 89-73, 2nd in the Division, maybe a WC
Buffalo Wooden Nickle - 98-64 in S7, 79-83 in S8
After claiming the division title in S7, the Nickles took a step backwards in S8, dropping below .500 and into 3rd place. How did BBMogul respond? He went out and traded for nearly an entirely new team. Omar Lopez, Don Boskie, Edge Graves, and James Hornsby all join the team this season. What did I say earlier about standing still?
Offense: B++
Defense: C
Pitching: B-
MVP: Roger Crawford
Cy Young: Dixie Logan (I don't care if he's a closer)
Prediction -- 95-67, 1st in the Division
Helena Homies -- 56-106 in S7, 55-107 in S8
How the mighty have fallen. Remember when pinner30 ran this team to two consecutive playoff appearances and even won the DCS in S2? Was he an alias? Maybe. But the team was good back then! chadtv took over for four seasons, and posted an amazing 243-405 record during that time. What's a new owner to do in this situation? Trade everyone. Eight trades later, the entire franchse has gotten a face-lift. Domingo DeRojas, despite being past his prime, adds immediate talent to the ML roster. He had career lows in nearly every category last season, but Helena is hoping he can rebound. Pitching wise, Eugene Rivers will probably get the most starts this season, with Antonio Neal right behind him. The nice thing about sucking for so long: lots of studs in the minors, waiting to come up.
Offense: B+
Defense: C+
Pitching: C
MVP: Mo Nathan
Cy Young: Rivers
Prediction -- 65-97, 4th in the Division
Going into their fourth season under hshack's rule, Iowa City is looking better and better. Led by former first round pick Davy Matthews and Yamil Dali at the plate and David Miranda and Freddy Kojima on the mound, IC really has their shit together. My only complaint: they didn't do anything during the offseason. Teams that stand still will usually end up getting passed. If the young guys like Bong, Matthews, Ritz and Tabaka can continue to improve, then maybe the team won't need high-priced FA's or big trades.
Offense: C
Defense: B
Pitching: C
MVP: Matthews, duh
Cy Young: Kojima
Prediction -- 81-81, 3rd in the Division
Cincinnati Red Thumpers -- 92-70 in S7, 83-79 in S8
One of The Originals, statman527 has seen his franchise rise from the valley up to the top of the tiny mountain that is the NL North, but the mountains of other divisions have squashed his little mountain when they have gone up against each other in the postseason. Flash Bass has lived up to the hype that comes with a top draft pick, after being given a MLB deal and spending less than 300 games in the minors. This year he has Mac Collins helping him out, after Collins spent a whopping 511 games in the minors, spending significant time at every level. J.C. Stewart and Wesley Howry should lead the pitching. With only three players on the ML roster over the age of 30, youth will certainly lead this team.
Offense: B+
Defense: B
Pitching: B-
MVP: Bass
Cy Young: Howry
Prediction -- 89-73, 2nd in the Division, maybe a WC
Buffalo Wooden Nickle - 98-64 in S7, 79-83 in S8
After claiming the division title in S7, the Nickles took a step backwards in S8, dropping below .500 and into 3rd place. How did BBMogul respond? He went out and traded for nearly an entirely new team. Omar Lopez, Don Boskie, Edge Graves, and James Hornsby all join the team this season. What did I say earlier about standing still?
Offense: B++
Defense: C
Pitching: B-
MVP: Roger Crawford
Cy Young: Dixie Logan (I don't care if he's a closer)
Prediction -- 95-67, 1st in the Division
Helena Homies -- 56-106 in S7, 55-107 in S8
How the mighty have fallen. Remember when pinner30 ran this team to two consecutive playoff appearances and even won the DCS in S2? Was he an alias? Maybe. But the team was good back then! chadtv took over for four seasons, and posted an amazing 243-405 record during that time. What's a new owner to do in this situation? Trade everyone. Eight trades later, the entire franchse has gotten a face-lift. Domingo DeRojas, despite being past his prime, adds immediate talent to the ML roster. He had career lows in nearly every category last season, but Helena is hoping he can rebound. Pitching wise, Eugene Rivers will probably get the most starts this season, with Antonio Neal right behind him. The nice thing about sucking for so long: lots of studs in the minors, waiting to come up.
Offense: B+
Defense: C+
Pitching: C
MVP: Mo Nathan
Cy Young: Rivers
Prediction -- 65-97, 4th in the Division
Friday, March 12, 2010
New Season, New Owners, New Hope, blah blah blah
Wasn't the World Series yesterday? There are some "elite" worlds that rollover pretty quickly because they tell everyone that they are elite, so people line up to join. There are some worlds that are far from good, and will take anyone who has $25, so they roll quickly. But there aren't too many worlds that are high quality and don't tell everyone about how great they are, yet still fill up as quickly as this world does. I mean seriously, it seemed like camden had guys lined up to take teams before the WS was even over. We only went maybe one cycle between the world rolling, and camden hitting the big button. Somebody buy that man a hooker, he deserves it.
Coming into the world are a handful of new guys. First we have bluecrew65 who is taking psanders84's old team, which was jubalado's team for seven seasons. I don't remember psanders84 at all. Did he ever post anything in the world chat? Well he's gone now, and bluecrew65 comes to us with 14+ seasons of experience, with one playoff appearance. He takes a team that won the WS way back in Season 1, went to the WS again in S4, and has only finished below .500 one time in their history. Too bad he's jumping into a division with Jackson and Jacksonville, who are really good.
We also get jstnklly, who takes over from Josh33 after two seasons of playing right around .500 baseball. This team has had a lot of turnover with jstnklly being the sixth owner in nine seasons, so hopefully he sticks around for a few, and can give this franchise some stability. Nine seasons under his belt, with one playoff appearance, he's taking over a team that definitely has some talent at all levels.
frankum takes over from themehl, who took a team with four consecutive .500+ seasons, and turned it into poo. He traded away two of the best draft picks that the franchise has had over the years, in Allen and Iorg, and dragged the team to a .400 record and number four pick in this year's draft. The good news is frankum has plenty of salary cap room to work with, and there is still plenty of talent within the franchise. 11 seasons of experience and 4 playoff appearances, he should be able to snap this team back to it's former glory. Or something.
Last, and maybe least, andersaa takes over from chadtv, who posted four consecutive 92+ loss seasons, with three of those being 100 losses or more. The first two seasons for this franchise were excellent, with a wild card in Season 1 and 110 wins with an NLCS appearance in Season 2. Sub .500 records in 3 and 4 led to pinner30's retirement from HBD, at which point chadtv showed up and played reigny-esque ball, picking up three top 10 draft picks during his tenure. One good thing about these first 8 seasons, is nearly every first round draft pick has been a pitcher, and nearly all of them are still with the franchise. Everybody likes pitching. andersaa has 15 seasons of experience, making the playoffs in 8 of those seasons, while winning games at a .542 clip during that time.
Coming into the world are a handful of new guys. First we have bluecrew65 who is taking psanders84's old team, which was jubalado's team for seven seasons. I don't remember psanders84 at all. Did he ever post anything in the world chat? Well he's gone now, and bluecrew65 comes to us with 14+ seasons of experience, with one playoff appearance. He takes a team that won the WS way back in Season 1, went to the WS again in S4, and has only finished below .500 one time in their history. Too bad he's jumping into a division with Jackson and Jacksonville, who are really good.
We also get jstnklly, who takes over from Josh33 after two seasons of playing right around .500 baseball. This team has had a lot of turnover with jstnklly being the sixth owner in nine seasons, so hopefully he sticks around for a few, and can give this franchise some stability. Nine seasons under his belt, with one playoff appearance, he's taking over a team that definitely has some talent at all levels.
frankum takes over from themehl, who took a team with four consecutive .500+ seasons, and turned it into poo. He traded away two of the best draft picks that the franchise has had over the years, in Allen and Iorg, and dragged the team to a .400 record and number four pick in this year's draft. The good news is frankum has plenty of salary cap room to work with, and there is still plenty of talent within the franchise. 11 seasons of experience and 4 playoff appearances, he should be able to snap this team back to it's former glory. Or something.
Last, and maybe least, andersaa takes over from chadtv, who posted four consecutive 92+ loss seasons, with three of those being 100 losses or more. The first two seasons for this franchise were excellent, with a wild card in Season 1 and 110 wins with an NLCS appearance in Season 2. Sub .500 records in 3 and 4 led to pinner30's retirement from HBD, at which point chadtv showed up and played reigny-esque ball, picking up three top 10 draft picks during his tenure. One good thing about these first 8 seasons, is nearly every first round draft pick has been a pitcher, and nearly all of them are still with the franchise. Everybody likes pitching. andersaa has 15 seasons of experience, making the playoffs in 8 of those seasons, while winning games at a .542 clip during that time.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Season 8 World Series
WOOOOOOO, here we go! The World Series is always entertaining, but when you get two really good teams who belong there, it's even more entertaining. The #1 team in the AL, the New York Yankees, needed six games to defeat the Milwaukee Ueckers in the ALCS, while the #2 team in the NL (but #1 in your hearts), Indianapolis Indians (racist!), needed only five games to knock out the #1 seed Jackson Generals. New York won their second WS last season, and finished this season with a league record 113 wins. Indy is making their second appearance in the WS, and won 92 games during the regular season before having their way with Hartford and Jackson. Interestingly enough, Indy's first WS appearance was in season 3, under prior ownership when they were the Baltimore Stallions, and they lost that WS to the Yanks. So is this going to be pay-back for Indy? Edgar Frias and Jon Drew might be the only guys left over from the first WS, I'm too lazy to click on 25 player profiles and check out their stats. So most of the roster probably watched the S3 WS on the tele and didn't care about the outcome unless they had money on the game. You know, if gambling was legal.
Offensively, Indy was led by three fuckers who destroyed my team whenever we played them this season. Remember that girl in high school who thought she was really cool because she was dating a guy in college? You know, she was a junior or senior, and her boyfriend was a freshman or sophomore in college. And you didn't really think about it at the time, but now you know what he did to her on prom night. Yeah, you know. That's what Gorecki, Sandberg, and Wilkerson did to not just my team, but most other NL teams this season. I still have a little blood in my poo. What's really frustrating, is those assholes aren't even the best guys on the team, the pitching staff is the glue that holds this squad together. Frias, Drew, and the $110M Man combined for 35 wins, and most likely are the three guys who will get the starts during the Series. And if those jerks don't get the job done, Indy has two stud closers in Cammack and O'Halloran (a well known drunk, fyi), who combined for 37 saves in 42 opportunities. Maybe my favorite fact about this team is that pitcher Bret Boyer has a range rating of 1 and a glove rating of 2. The dude is 6ft3 and 193 pounds. How is that possible? Did the guy grow up running in straight lines and never wearing his glove during practice or games? Fascinating.
My guys didn't play the Yankees this season, so I won't call them any bad names. Right. Those fuckers win all of the time, it's getting a little old. I mean come on, five(!!!) World Series appearances in eight seasons? Seriously? There are teams in this world who have never made the playoffs, and some who have never finished a season with an above .500 record. Yet these assholes make WS appearances something of a given. What's really interesting is how the team is built. A lot of guys build their programs from the ground up, focusing on the draft and IFA's and trading veterans for youth. Not the Yankees. Counting supplemental picks, the Yanks have had 17 "first round" picks in 8 seasons, and only 5 of those players are still with the organization. None of those five are on the ML roster. Dick Iorg, the first player ever drafted by the Yankees way back in S1, is actually sitting in the other dugout with Indy. Guess how many IFA's the Yankees have spent more than $1M on. Go ahead and guess. I'll give you a minute. The answer is 'two.' And neither is still in the NY organization. I'm too lazy to click on the second string guys, but all of the noteworthy players on the Yankees ML roster were acquired via trade or FA. Again, I'm too lazy to look at the trade history, but I bet some of those former first round draft picks were part of the trades that got them these players. Just a hunch. And who are "these players?" Well Newsome, Lim, Post, and De la Vega combined for 61 wins during the regular season, and it appears that the four of them will be the starters during the WS. With a 4-man rotation, expect each of them to throw a ton of pitches, and then got a bunch of time off before they have to go back out. Joe Young killed last year's save total by notching 48 saves this season, and he'll close out games. Offensively, the Yanks have Taylor, Diaz, and Cruz leading the charge, with Diaz and Nakano being threats on the bases.
You know I generally don't like picking the favorite. And I like rooting against devon. My brain tells me to go with New York. But my heart wants me to pick Indy. I forgot to mention, the AL leads the WS 4 games to 3. So isn't it the NL's turn? I think so. It would be good for the world if the series stayed even. And if devon won another WS with pitching and defense and speed, I think domi's head might explode. And we know nobody wants that, right? So what the hell, let's go with Indy in six games. If nothing else, I get to spend a few days trying to jinx NY.
Lastly, if you've read this far and don't currently have a * next to your name, go do it. This is arguably my favorite world, and I like the consistency that we have from seasons to season, so even if you're an insufferable prick, you should go get your *. That is all. Thank you, and god speed.
Offensively, Indy was led by three fuckers who destroyed my team whenever we played them this season. Remember that girl in high school who thought she was really cool because she was dating a guy in college? You know, she was a junior or senior, and her boyfriend was a freshman or sophomore in college. And you didn't really think about it at the time, but now you know what he did to her on prom night. Yeah, you know. That's what Gorecki, Sandberg, and Wilkerson did to not just my team, but most other NL teams this season. I still have a little blood in my poo. What's really frustrating, is those assholes aren't even the best guys on the team, the pitching staff is the glue that holds this squad together. Frias, Drew, and the $110M Man combined for 35 wins, and most likely are the three guys who will get the starts during the Series. And if those jerks don't get the job done, Indy has two stud closers in Cammack and O'Halloran (a well known drunk, fyi), who combined for 37 saves in 42 opportunities. Maybe my favorite fact about this team is that pitcher Bret Boyer has a range rating of 1 and a glove rating of 2. The dude is 6ft3 and 193 pounds. How is that possible? Did the guy grow up running in straight lines and never wearing his glove during practice or games? Fascinating.
My guys didn't play the Yankees this season, so I won't call them any bad names. Right. Those fuckers win all of the time, it's getting a little old. I mean come on, five(!!!) World Series appearances in eight seasons? Seriously? There are teams in this world who have never made the playoffs, and some who have never finished a season with an above .500 record. Yet these assholes make WS appearances something of a given. What's really interesting is how the team is built. A lot of guys build their programs from the ground up, focusing on the draft and IFA's and trading veterans for youth. Not the Yankees. Counting supplemental picks, the Yanks have had 17 "first round" picks in 8 seasons, and only 5 of those players are still with the organization. None of those five are on the ML roster. Dick Iorg, the first player ever drafted by the Yankees way back in S1, is actually sitting in the other dugout with Indy. Guess how many IFA's the Yankees have spent more than $1M on. Go ahead and guess. I'll give you a minute. The answer is 'two.' And neither is still in the NY organization. I'm too lazy to click on the second string guys, but all of the noteworthy players on the Yankees ML roster were acquired via trade or FA. Again, I'm too lazy to look at the trade history, but I bet some of those former first round draft picks were part of the trades that got them these players. Just a hunch. And who are "these players?" Well Newsome, Lim, Post, and De la Vega combined for 61 wins during the regular season, and it appears that the four of them will be the starters during the WS. With a 4-man rotation, expect each of them to throw a ton of pitches, and then got a bunch of time off before they have to go back out. Joe Young killed last year's save total by notching 48 saves this season, and he'll close out games. Offensively, the Yanks have Taylor, Diaz, and Cruz leading the charge, with Diaz and Nakano being threats on the bases.
You know I generally don't like picking the favorite. And I like rooting against devon. My brain tells me to go with New York. But my heart wants me to pick Indy. I forgot to mention, the AL leads the WS 4 games to 3. So isn't it the NL's turn? I think so. It would be good for the world if the series stayed even. And if devon won another WS with pitching and defense and speed, I think domi's head might explode. And we know nobody wants that, right? So what the hell, let's go with Indy in six games. If nothing else, I get to spend a few days trying to jinx NY.
Lastly, if you've read this far and don't currently have a * next to your name, go do it. This is arguably my favorite world, and I like the consistency that we have from seasons to season, so even if you're an insufferable prick, you should go get your *. That is all. Thank you, and god speed.
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